2006-08-02 / LifeStyles


Friend who needed favor should pay traffic fine
Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: Please help me. My friend, "Nancy," is undergoing chemotherapy for cancer treatment. She asked me to drive her to a doctor's appointment because her usual driver was not available. Of course I agreed.

Unfortunately, I parked over the line a little bit, and when we returned from the appointment, there was a parking ticket on the windshield. I usually drive a sedan, but I was driving Nancy's car, which is very large. She was quite upset at the $280 fine, but I suggested she contest it. She was told to write a letter to explain her situation, and that the review board would most likely be compassionate toward her and either dismiss or reduce the fine.

Nancy told me she needs a copy of my driver's license to send to them - which puts me on the line for the ticket. I feel that since I was doing her a favor, I should not incriminate myself. She has a working husband and a retirement income with no minor children to support. I am not employed at this time and have no income. I live with an elderly woman with whom I exchange companionship and housekeeping for room and board.

Do you think I should give her a copy of my driver's license and/or pay for the fine?

- No Money in New York

Dear No Money: You should supply your driver's license because you were driving, but be sure Nancy writes that letter and explains the situation. If she gets off, there is no harm, no foul. If she still has to pay a fine, however, we think she should take care of it, or at the very least, split it with you. After all, you were doing her a favor, and she should not penalize you $280 for it.

Doctor could be wrong

Dear Annie: I would like to find out if the sexually transmitted disease trichomoniasis can occur without sexual contact. I know that once the person has it, it becomes sexually transmittable, but can it occur on its own, like a yeast infection?

The wife of a couple dear to me had her physical recently and was called at home by the doctor's office and told bluntly that she had trichomoniasis and needed a prescription. She immediately told her husband to get out. He vehemently denies that he has had sex with anyone else and started accusing her. She knows she has been faithful, and also knows that he had been sneaking out at night after she had gone to sleep. Even so, she did not suspect him of cheating. She just thought he had gone to a nearby casino.

My friend asked the doctor if this could be caught without sexual contact and was told it could not. Too much has been said for these two to patch up their marriage, but I would like the facts on the transmission question.

- Worried Friend

Dear Worried: The most common form of trichomoniasis transmission is sexual. However, according to the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, there is evidence that it may be picked up from infected damp or moist objects like towels or wet clothing, and even toilet seats, if the genital area comes into contact with any infected areas. We are horrified to think that this doctor did not allow for the possibility that both husband and wife were innocent.

Beat the holiday stress

Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Lonely Holidays," whose married children spent their holidays with the other side of the family. I decided a long time ago that holidays are the worst time to try to enjoy family. The multiple family demands, the stress and the disproportionate expectations make everyone miserable.

There are so many better things to do - volunteer at a hospital or homeless shelter, look into a holiday hike with the Sierra Club, or even take a trip. I schedule the time with my children between the holidays, when we can relax and enjoy our time together. Also, airfare is cheaper.

- No-Stress Gran

Dear Gran: Sounds like a great plan to us. Anyone under holiday stress should consider your solution.

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